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Intimacy of Kink

July 28 -- 30, 2023 in Lakeport, California


Join us for an intimate exploration of the ways kink/BDSM can enrich and enliven your relationships with others and with yourself. Tailored to those completely or fairly new to kink/BDSM, held in a safe(r), gentle, loving space.

The weekend will be hosted in a beautiful and spacious retreat center in Lakeport with hiking trails, a warm pool, hot tub, sauna, steam rooms, and a river for natural cold plunges. It will be catered with delicious and nutritious home-cooked meals.

Couples or singles are welcome! For singles, Be and Kalista will either provide support in pairing up before the weekend or if there are enough singles, partners in exercises will rotate.

Be and Kalista will be creating as safe(r) and as comfortable of a container as possible. In this small group setting, you’ll get personalized attention that addresses your specific questions and desired learnings. You’ll also have the opportunity to create sweet connections with others who are on a similar journey of self-discovery, building a sense of community and camaraderie along the journey.

This retreat will be limited to 24 people so register today.

Weekend Schedule

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Friday: We’ll be welcoming arrivals anytime Friday evening starting at 7 PM. Starting at 8pm, we’ll begin by getting into our bodies and connecting with each other through Rope Dance. Afterwards, you can float in the pool and/or relax in the hot tub, sauna and/or steam room. Generally, you'll get comfortable in the space before retiring to your sleeping quarters.

Saturday: Wake up to homemade breakfast! Then, Be and Kalista will begin with creating a container for the weekend, inviting vulnerability and all the feelings that can come up around exploring this work.  Then provide an overview of kink/BDSM fundamentals, going over all the different roles and ways to play/explore. Then talking about how to create a container or scene through negotiations and the importance of aftercare. You will have a chance to ask questions and explore roles that tempt your pleasure.  

After a deliciously satisfying lunch and time to enjoy the creek side sauna, we will cover technical skills. Demonstrations will include hair pulling, spanking/impact play, biting, choking, and body manipulation. Giving everyone an opportunity to negotiate short scenes to practice these skills.  We’ll also explore and discuss the dynamics of teasing, begging, orgasm control and g-spot ejaculation (this will be a live demo and like any portion of the weekend, you can always take care of yourself and go enjoy nature if you're not wanting to participate for a certain part).

The evening will include dinner and then open play time to practice your new skills. Depending on your comfort, you can explore with others in the communal space or go to a more secluded location for one-on-one time with your partner. Kalista and Be will be monitoring the communal space and available for additional guidance.  Play stops at 10pm to allow rest for those that want it but hot tubs/saunas will be available.

Sunday: Sunday will include another tasty breakfast. Then, Be and Kalista will demo and teach One Rope Play. One partner will take the role of rope top, and one will be rope bottom. You will learn to use the tension of the rope to manipulate the body into different positions. One rope play provides a space in which each partner can drop into their roles while feeling the sensuality and tension created through rope, without worrying about the technical aspects of rope tying. It’s a great foundation for exploring the presence and energy you bring to any rope scene.

After lunch and a bit of time in the sauna or on a hike, Be will teach a few foundational ties for rope bondage.  We'll tie it all together and invite everyone to negotiate and play out a scene incorporating everything from the weekend.

The retreat will close with a communal dinner where we can share reflections and reconnect as a group. At about 7 p.m., you will pack up and head back home with a new understanding of how kink and BDSM can enrich your life and the skills to continue your exploration.

*Schedule/Outline subject to change but this is generally everything we will be covering.

Be (pronoun Be) is passionate about the intersection of embodied movement/dance, sensuality/sexuality and kink/BDSM.  Be loves creating safe(r) spaces for play, exploration, growth and healing as a means of becoming more fully who we are.


Be has been creating these spaces for the last 15 years in the Bay Area through classes and events, always pushing the envelope of what’s possible to explore.  From a range of 2nd base events, Womxn in Charge, Bi/Pan Playful, Dripping Womxn and classes/playshops such as Intro to Kink, G-spot ejaculation, Rope Dance, Contactsage, Acrosage and Aquaprov.


Be brings 20 years of experience as a bodyworker that shows up through an embodied calming/nurturing presence.  Along with 8 years of Somatica training for a deeper understanding of sex, intimacy and relationships.

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Kalista (pronouns K) is a very intuitive, loving creature originally from Poland. Through K's different cultural experiences and deep understanding of human nature K's lens of seeing and feeling people is vast. K was always kinky, but K's consensual BDSM journey started 7 years ago at... a Womxn in Charge event!  Since the moment she entered the space, K knew K wanted to be part of creating spaces like that.


During the last seven years K deepened into kink, BDSM in K's private life and has dived deeply into Light Dark Institute's work, stepping into K's power and embracing all K's dark parts. K completed 2 years of Somatica's training and assisted for 4 years. K's integrating all this work, helping people find and explore their desires, turn on, dark parts and vulnerability, along with the shame that surrounds all of that, to fully embrace their full human expression.

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Be and Kalista have been partners for 7 years. They have more than 20 years of combined experience creating and facilitating programs individually and together, including Womxn In Charge, Playful Kink, Rope Dance, and more. They have a cumulative 15 years’ Somatica training and have been highly involved with Light Dark Institute, as well as many other personal growth modalities that influence their teachings and methods for holding space. They're both passionate about kink and BDSM as a way of creating deep connection in romantic relationships and as tools for personal growth and transformation. 


I attended one of my very first kink workshops with Be almost a decade ago and it opened so many doors for me. Having been in a variety of different learning and playing environments with both Be and Kalista since, I can unhesitatingly say I trust their hearts as much as their skills… and that’s saying a lot!

Covering everything from the playful to the practical, the how-to’s of power exchange to the oh-so-many ways to bring passion, Be and Kalista are loving and patient teachers and guides. Whether you’re brand new to exploring kink or are a more seasoned player, you can expect to be welcomed into an environment that encourages a culture of safety, consent and care and to likely have a lot of fun!

Darshana Avila, Erotic Wholeness Coach
Featured on "Sex, Love and Goop"



Lodging is provided within the retreat center. Beds range in size from cuddly, extra-large full beds to twin-sized beds within dorm rooms and a number of beds in loft space upstairs. They are available on first-registered, first-served basis. 

For those who want to enjoy more privacy among the vibrant stars and Milky Way, camping is also available on site.  Or RV's/camper vans are welcome on the land but there is no hook ups.



$495 per person, which includes freshly catered, delicious meals and onsite lodging.

(We can offer as low as $395 per person for lower income folx. We invite those that are feeling flush to contribute up to $595 per person.)

Do you have more questions about the weekend? Please reach out! 

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